


We Ran Out Of Everything We Dreamed

by edenaaa (orphan_account)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gift Fic, Heavy Angst, M/M, Memories, Mutual Pining, Not Happy, Pre-Kerberos Mission
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2019-01-20 22:31:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12443166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/edenaaa
Summary: “I promise,” Shiro murmured in a hushed voice, the air between them suddenly being conquered by tension, care and an ounce of an unnamed chain linking their hearts.Keith didn’t want to go through the year alone, to face problems on his own and not have anyone to confess to, but he’d do it. He’d hang in for Shiro.“I promise to keep going. For you.”Keith was a liar, too. He stomped on those words as if they meant nothing more than the ruins taking the place of his heart. He couldn’t do it, in the end.





	We Ran Out Of Everything We Dreamed

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Glossolalia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glossolalia/gifts).



> Title inspired after [ this.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQ5kbaZ3qGw)
> 
> The song used at the beginning and at the end is [ Things We Lost In The Fire - Bastille](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGR4U7W1dZU)
> 
> Happy birthday to my sunshine, the reason why I still keep going even when things don't turn out the way I want them to, when I feel it is too much to bear or just need some time alone. Happy birthday, Keith!!
> 
> I wrote this as a gift to him and for all the Sheith fans willing to have their hearts broken with some pre-Kerberos mission memories and how Keith copes in Shiro's absence (hint: he doesn't). So, just enjoy it until the end and tell your opinions.
> 
> At the same time, this work is gifted to my favorite author of all times, [ Lee](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Glossolalia/pseuds/Glossolalia). 'Picosecond' had me reeling and it will always occupy a special place in my heart. Thank you.
> 
> You may proceed now! See you at the end x

__

_“All that we’ve amassed/Sits before us, shattered into ash”_

Dusk brought along waves of poignant phantoms, with coy smiles and unforgettable hours spent in the company of another human being, alive, breathing. Enraptured by the meshes of the idea of Shiro’s arm brushing his and sending pulsations of heat through the uniform’s material, of useful advice whispered in moments of lowest self-confidence, Keith’s hours elapsed in cold shadows of warm embraces.

_“I’ll come to the Garrison before you even know it, Keith.”_

Keith couldn’t retain the pathetic whimper escaping through his lips in those moments when Shiro’s promise dawned on him with the ferocity of a wild animal, once again reminding its impracticableness and haunting the insomniac part of him.

“You liar,” he accused, but the one who was supposed to hear his blight was never present to suffer with him, to share the pain caused by shattered emotions digging into what was left intact of his heart. It belonged to Shiro, it used to be beating for him and reacting to his voice, slight touches and boyish smiles. With the possessor absent, it was bound to reel into an abyss of numbness. 

Three hundred sixty five days, eight thousand seven hundred and sixty hours since Shiro decided to astonish Keith with his intricacy, he remembered the best anniversary he’d ever had. Keith was used to others ignoring him as if he were a thing which needed to be disjointed and remade from the core. Shiro was the first to look him in the eye and recognize he was whole, as much as he could be, not wrong, empty or useless. 

_“What do you want to do? Would a cake be too much?”_

_Shiro’s black irises fixed on him and Keith’s body reacted as if fire had met kerosene on his skin. It was Shiro’s decision if the remains would be embers or ashes. Keith snorted and was quick to head his head anywhere but on the man before him, barely containing himself from reasoning Shiro’s mere presence was enough and yet he craved more than their regular meetings._

_“Maybe I’ll obtain permission for the simulator, what do you say? Just the two of us.”_

Shiro added the last part in lieu of Keith being apprehensive in the presence of others, quiet and recluse. He was correct, as always, and Keith would have given anything for the occasion to let time flow together with Shiro, but not when he was supposed to celebrate seventeen years on Earth. 

Keith wanted something unraveling, tumultuous and Shiro had to be part of it. His hands were itching to reach, touch and feel. Keith was obsessed with Shiro’s peach fuzz, with the specific form of his eyebrows and how he furrowed them when he didn’t understand something, narrowed them when he was confused, angry or misunderstood. 

Shiro once confessed to him how he observed Keith doing the same almost imperceptible movement with his thinner eyebrows when his expectancies were crushed by others, or when he was annoyed and ignored and frustrated. 

Keith had seriously lost faith in people until he met Shiro and realized not all of them broke promises, dreams or trust. There were exceptions and Shiro was one of them; He touched and gave life, hope, he didn’t forcefully take what wasn’t his and he certainly respected opinions and had motivations stored in his vocabulary for every kind of difficulty Keith stumbled upon. 

_“What if we break some rules tonight?”_

Shiro had proposed it with playfulness hanging onto the corner of his sloppy smile and mischief tingling in his eyes. Keith knew a premiere when he faced one and Shiro even insinuating such actions was far from the circle of control he surrounded himself with. 

_“I don’t know, it depends on what you’ve got in mind.”_

Keith was aware the smirk seizing his innocent lips had its origins somewhere deep within him, but he had chosen to ignore its presence at the moment. 

_“You’re spontaneous, Keith, I realize I’ll need to keep the secret to myself if I want you to enjoy it.”_

Was it normal to thoroughly recall the words thrown into the quietness of the corridor that October night? Keith believed it wasn’t. That conversation hogged the available space, thus leading to him running low on comprehending things, faces and tasks. Keith had once been walking on pure air and wasn’t prepared for the damages a forced landing would cause. 

_“Shiro, it’s not a big deal, just a day like any other. Don’t stress yourself over making it memorable.”_

Keith was better at reading persons, but it didn’t prove effective when Shiro had already formed a pattern he would take into consideration regardless of consequences and effort.

His face ached, lips curving into a smile without his permission and an almost inexistent drop of emotion latching onto his chest and making his too sensitive skin burn again. The only difference was Shiro’s presence set him aflame and remolded him, as opposed to the current situation in which he was dying with every passing second. 

Keith desperately clenched his fingers in the rough material of his black onyx pants, sinking teeth into his bottom lip until blood evaded his mouth in increasing amounts. His eyes were misted by tears impending to betray his inadvertent feelings. 

It was wrong, suffering that way when the only resolve to the wound was the most incomprehensible one: Shiro himself. 

_“Seriously? Do you really have to do it?”_

_Shiro’s response was a dismissive shrug, portly body shielding Keith’s noticeably weaker one. Warm palms covered his eyes and guided him as if through a maze._

In response, a ghost touch lingered on Keith’s dampened cheeks. With a trembling and unsure hand, he wet the tips of his fingers trying to grasp the last traces of the memory, even though they’d already faded. 

_“Is your idea of celebrating my birthday based on losing time on a rooftop, in cold?” Keith half joked and unwarily trod after Shiro on the unstable surface of the cot._

_His right leg unbalanced for a second, equilibrium quivering rapidly and the other man had his hand extended before he knew it, prepared to catch Keith in case of endangerment._

_“The last thing I need is you falling,” Shiro explained in a hesitating voice, not quite being able to reason the presence of a vague trace of pink adorning his cheeks._

_“Right,” Keith eloquently mumbled._

_“This should be the perfect spot,” Shiro talked to himself, movements ceasing. He sat down, trying to find a proper position for his overly long legs. “Won’t you take a seat?” He asked and gestured towards the vacant place near him._

_Keith stalled for a moment, then decided to drown into the look of pure excitement etched on Shiro’s face and listen to the advice. The feeling of tile under him wasn’t the most comfortable one, including the chilly wind capable to make its way into his bones, but the man’s body heat enveloped all those aspects in a blanket of indifference._

_“It’s peaceful,” Shiro affirmed after minutes of silence. “When was the last time you admired the stars?”_

_Keith felt troubled for a short amount of time, processing the words carefully. The question wasn’t a simple one, since it contained an underside layer of meaning. Keith had to study constellations, planets, but it was all for the courses, obtaining impressive grades and making Shiro proud._

_“It’s been some time,” he admitted._

_“Can you believe in the vastness of space, Keith? Do you gaze at the sky and conclude you’ll find yourself achieving a desire? You will be there one day.” He shifts his head to indicate the subject of their discussion._

_“Sometimes I can’t.” A pause, then in a more unconvinced tone, “That is, if I graduate.”_

_“You will. Keith, I know what you’re capable of, you only need a motivation convincing enough to stimulate your interest. I believe in you.”_

Keith surpassed the incredulous sensation of some invisible force tearing him apart piece by piece, tilting on the edge of reality and on the way to plunging into the obscurity of past times. 

“I fucking disappointed you…” He muttered in disgust, hatred reflecting on both himself and Shiro for counting on him, offering him support and building trust when no one did. “You should have never stuck with me.” 

_“Keith, what’s with that expression?” Shiro was probably referring to the sadness visible on his face. “Did I say something wrong?”_

_“You’ll be leaving soon.” He admitted shyly, ashamed of his childish behavior. “I’m talking about the Kerberos mission.”_

_Shiro had laughed quietly, shoulders shaking in rhythm of the crystalline sound leaving his mouth and Keith could almost sense it reverberating in the empty space around him._

Keith’s right hand unconsciously draped on his left shoulder, where Shiro’s steady hold used to be. He loathed himself for wishing to feel something – anything – even though the absence was oblivious and it shouldn’t have hurt so much. 

_“I’ll come back before you even realize I’ve even left in the first place,” he pointed out. “And when it ends, we’ll do it every night,” Shiro added, daring to glance at the stars for a brief moment and returning his eyes on Keith._

_“It’s a promise, so you’d better keep it, otherwise it’s the shittiest present ever,” Keith decided to clarify, hardly bridling the tears seeking freedom on his burning cheeks._

_“I promise,” Shiro murmured in a hushed voice, the air between them suddenly being conquered by tension, care and an ounce of an unnamed chain linking their hearts._

Keith didn’t want to go through the year alone, to face problems on his own and not have anyone to confess to, but he’d do it. He’d hang in for Shiro. 

_“I promise to keep going. For you.”_

Keith was a liar, too. He stomped on those words as if they meant nothing more than the ruins taking the place of his heart. He couldn’t do it, in the end. He couldn’t be solid, he deliquesced without Shiro there to maintain him on the proper path. 

Keith missed him just like a puzzle that once lost one sleek piece and could never form the complete picture again. 

They spent countless minutes on that rooftop, with nothing but each other’s presence as company, two unimportant souls seeking solace under the light of thousands of stars. 

Residing in Shiro’s radius of heed even for one night was priceless and Keith accepted he would revise it in his fantasies, dreams and loneliest moments until another unforgettable minute would preempt it. 

_“Happy birthday, Keith,” Shiro uttered and Keith could practically feel honey enveloping his tongue only from those words. He felt the compelling need to move his fingers an inch and touch Shiro’s, but his body was a frozen statue while his mind was functioning light years away from it._

_Shiro’s felicitation was exuberant, the embodiment of buoyancy. It was all he’d ever wanted to hear from him and nothing compared to his wishes at the same time._

“Tell me you’re not gone forever,” he sobbed and repeated like a broken record liable to abide an eternity of ignorance. “Return to me, please…” 

Keith marked his eighteen years of existence alone in the shack he used as shelter, one he would never regard as home since the only person representing protection, security and love was gone due to “pilot error”. 

“I wish you were here with me, Shiro,” Keith revealed to himself, broken in so many ways nothing and no one could fix. The discovery tasted like licorice slipping down his neck. “I didn’t even get to kiss you, damn it!” 

And he wouldn’t have the chance to do so, regardless of how the imminent need corroded his insides. He was young and a menace to what he came in contact with, glowing lava predicting destruction and issues and the antidote was unreachable. 

In the end, what Keith and Shiro had were two broken vows, left to decay under the merciless action of time. 

What they didn’t know, didn’t even dare to dream of having, was a reunion that would bring two different, powerful forces clashing with visible aftereffects. 

  
_“You said we were born with nothing/ And we sure as hell have nothing now…”_

**Author's Note:**

> Please subscribe for the following part of the story and do not hesitate to state your opinions regarding it.
> 
> Also, you can find me on [tumblr.](https://omgedenaaathings.tumblr.com)


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